jokes bad or otherwise.

From my American correspondent:

Unaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time and Chicago on Central Standard Time, a fellow inquired at the Indianapolis airport about a plane to Chicago.

"The next flight leaves at 1:00 p.m.," the ticket agent said, "and arrives in Chicago at 1:01 p.m."

"Would you repeat that, please?" the fella asked.

The agent did so and then inquired, "Do you want a reservation?"

"No, but I think I'll hang around and watch that sucker take off."
 
"You must help me Doctor!":confused:
"What's the problem?"
"Last night I dreamed I was in a Catalytic Converter and was being blown out of a pipe at the back of a car!"

"That's nothing to worry about" said the doctor "You're just exhausted!!":biggrin::cautious:
 
When I was young I adopted a Giraffe we went everywhere together. I took him to the pictures one day, as the film was about to start this guy behind us started kicking off " I can't see the @$%^& film mate" . " Well what do you expect me to do , he's a Giraffe " to which the guy replied " Well you can @£$$%^ start by telling him to take his hat off , that would help" :08:
 
Burglars broke into a house and stole everything except soap,shampoo ,shower gel , toothpaste and deodorant. They then made a clean getaway! :08:;)
 
The nurse noticed a man in golf attire pacing up and down outside the emergency room where another golfer, who had a golf ball driven down his throat, was being treated by a doctor.

"Is he a relative of yours?" the nurse, stepping outside the room, asked the pacing golfer.

"No," replied the man. "It's my ball."
 
A guy that was really tight was looking for a gift to give a friend. Everything was too expensive except for a glass vase that had been broken and he could purchase it for almost nothing. He asked the store to send it hoping his friend would think it had been broken in transit.

In due time he received a note: "Thanks for the vase," it read. "It was so thoughtful…Of you to wrap each piece separately."
 
A doctor was racing toward the hospital when a patrol car appeared behind him -- lights flashing, siren blaring.

So the doc hung his stethoscope out the window to signal that he was on an emergency call.

Within seconds came the policeman's response: A pair of handcuffs flapping outside the police car window.
 
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