jokes bad or otherwise.

I ate a salad for lunch today! Well, mostly croutons and tomatoes. Actually one big round crouton and tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE! It was a pizza. I ate a pizza for lunch!
 
One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos, and pierced nose.

Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern.

Trying to be diplomatic, Mom said, "Dear, he just doesn't seem like the all-American boy you've dated before. He's not really that nice."
 
I know. I know. People say, "It's the thought that counts, not the gift," but couldn't people think a bit bigger?! :18::18:
 
Probably in the 'otherwise' category

but here goes


anyway





I told my son, "You will marry the girl I choose."

He said, "No."

I told him, "She is Bill Gate's daughter."

He said, "Yes."

I called Bill Gates and said, "I want your daughter to marry my son."

Bill Gates said, "No".

I told Bill Gates, "My son is the CEO of World Bank."

Bill Gates said, "Okay".

I called the president of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO.

He said, "No".

I told him, "My son is Bill Gate's son-in-law."

He said, "Okay."
And this is how politics works!
 
Store owner: "Thank you for your patronage. I wish I had twenty customers like you."

Customer: "Gosh, it's nice to hear that, but I'm kind of surprised. You know that I argue every bill and always pay late."

Store owner: "I'd still like twenty customers like you. The problem is, I have two hundred."



:):):)
 
If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you are always cheerful,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you are understanding when your loved ones are too busy for you,

If you never treat a rich friend better than a poor friend,

If you face the world without lies and deceit,

then you are probably the family dog!
 
Thank the Lord for Facebook. Otherwise I'd have to call 674 people every day to tell them I just went to the gym.
 
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