jokes bad or otherwise.

[imitation700mb]

Did you hear what happened when the apple pie was sent to court? It got remanded in custard-y!

 

[captain clutterbuck]

There has been a bit of a controversy regarding the difference between Elves and Sprites . Elves are supposedly a supernatural creature of folk tales, typically represented as a small, delicate, elusive figure in human form with pointed ears while Sprites are what the Royal Family have on their Christmas Dinner.

 

[Roger]

Twerking is what a Yorkshireman does to earn T’wages.

 

[Barrychuckle]

Did you hear what happened when the apple pie was sent to court? It got remanded in custard-y!

It's official you and @mashibinbin are our Christmas cracker joke writers of the forum

 

[Barrychuckle]

 

[Roger]

I owe so much money to my herb seller that he’s threatened to send round the bay leafs.

 

[captain clutterbuck]

Elvis passed away , his coffin was made of Redwood took two weeks to construct.
Frank Sinatra passed away, his coffin was made of Oak took one week to construct
Gene Pitney passed away his coffin ????? 24 hours from Balsa.

 

[imitation700mb]

It's official you and @mashibinbin are our Christmas cracker joke writers of the forum

Thanks Barry.

 

[Barrychuckle]

 

[captain clutterbuck]

Further controversy has been raised between the definitions of banal and trite . Well Banal is used to describe something which is unimaginative , lacking invention and never changing whereas Trite is what the Royal Family catch in the river near Balmoral.

 

[Barrychuckle]

 

[onyx(John)]

I was going to sail my boat around the world, but then I bottled it..

I sailed through my driving test. That's why I failed

 

[gothic]

I was going to sail my boat around the world, but then I bottled it..

I sailed through my driving test. That's why I failed

They had some good ones from the fringe

 

[gothic]

I think my favourite was from 2018:
Working at the Jobcentre has to be a tense job - knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.

 

[Roger]

I keep randomly shouting out Broccoli and Cauliflower. I think I might have florets.

 

[captain clutterbuck]

A Roman walked into a Coffee shop held up two fingers and shouted "Coffees please" ended up with 5

 

[Roger]

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus. The barman says "Don't you mean Martini?" the Roman says "No, just one will be fine"

 

[Cloggy]

Why did the Scarecrow win a prize?
'Because he was 'Outstanding' in his field.

 

[captain clutterbuck]

A rather embarrassed archaeologist had to apologise for believing he had found a graveyard for snowmen when it was simply a field of carrots.

 

[Barrychuckle]

“I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it“

This was the winner of the funniest joke at this years Edinburgh Fringe Festival!