jokes bad or otherwise.

I bought a Tee-shirt with a big sad face on the front.
I'm hoping that when I take it off it'll hang itself
 
I've been practicing my routine for next years Britain's got talent.
The music starts, I turn the telly off and read a book.
 
I was walking down a road and I saw this head on the floor and said "Oh my god what happened to you?"
He replied "I sold all my other body parts to feed my gambling addiction"
"Maybe you should quit while your ahead"
 
I went to the barbers and asked to have my hair cut like Tom Cruise.
The barber gave me a cushion to sit on.
 
I was sorting out my will today, and decided that my son could have my company.
I hope he doesn't mind my rotting corpse in his living room.
 
Riots flared up in Italy but stopped when the protesters realised they were losing and joined the police halfway through.
 
Three times I've had to storm upstairs and complain about the lad's music.
"Listen son," I said, "your mother's trying to talk sensibly to me downstairs, can't you turn it up?"
 
I went in to the vets and said to the receptionist, "Have you got a cure for fleas?"
"That depends," she replied, "what's wrong with them?"
 
An overweight woman thought she was having a heart attack saying she had a horrible pain under her left breast. Turned out, she had twisted her knee.
 
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