jokes bad or otherwise.

Police marksmen covering disturbances at Dale Farm, were required to open fire three times.
They won a goldfish, a teddy bear and an inflatable hammer.
 
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk, it is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
 
Quasimodo goes to a doctor for an annual checkup. "I think something is wrong with your back," the doctor says.
"What makes you think that?" asks Quasimodo.
"I don't know," the doctor replies. "It's a hunch."
 
How do you know if a bunch of Poms have landed in your country?
The plane engines stop, but the whining continues.
 
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the shop!
You find that funny? No ?
Neither did the chicken because the shop was closed
 
2 blondes are walking down the street.
1st blonde sees her reflection in a shop window
'Hey, that person looks familiar', she says
2nd blonde looks and says, 'Well obviously, it's me!'
 
A man came up to me and said, "Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry."
I said, "That is very annoying."
He said, "Well I can only apologise."
 
I went onto Dragons Den with my new Jehovah's Witness Saleman business.
Peter Jones and Hilary Devey immediately said, "I'm out"
Theo Paphitis and Deborah Meaden didn't answer while Duncan Bannatyne hid behind his chair.
 
A 999 operator had a call from a taxi driver...
"I phoned 15 minutes ago" he said, "I think I'm having a heart attack. Where is the Ambulance?"
"He's turning into the street as we speak" came the reply.
 
I was in a bakery getting a pork pie and my mobile fone starts beeping in my back pocket... a little lad standing behind me shouts" Watch out fatty reversing"
 
I've noticed their's a new horror DVD out called 'The Woman'.
I really can't beleive no-one has ever made a horror film about man's biggest fear before.
 
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