jokes bad or otherwise.

"Diet Tip",
Eat a bar of chocolate before a meal, it takes the edge off your appetite so you'll eat less!
 
However sad you feel... Just remember that, somewhere in the world, a fat kid has just dropped his ice-cream
 
To mark the Titanic centenary, I shall be standing in the Tesco salad aisle, pointing at the lettuce yelling "Iceberg, dead ahead!"
 
Went to see Titanic 3D yesterday and it was so 3D I could actually feel James Cameron taking the money out of my pocket.
 
A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met
the woman of his dreams! Now what should he do?

His mother advised: "Send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your
place for a home-cooked meal!"

So that's what he did. His mother called the day after the big date to see
how things had gone.

"The evening was a disaster," he moaned.

"Why, didn't she come over?" asked his mother.

"Oh, she came over, but she refused to cook..."
 
I knew getting a treadmill would help me get more exercise.
I started this morning and I'm already half away across the room towards it.
 
By the way - congratulations to George on reaching 3000 posts!

I place it here because this si where his loyal fans might see it ....
 
Keep em coming mate!! ;D You're my first port of call at the start of the day, so I " wake up " with a smile(after my second cup of tea) ;)
 
Thanks everyone.It's nice to be appreciated.


My entries in the ''Warwickshire cupcake contest'' didn't go down too well.
There was Nuneaton.
 
I walked into the police station and said, "Call off the search for my wife."
He asked, "So has she returned home then?"
"No, I don't miss her any more."
 
George was only 23 when he started this jokes thread! True story that!
 
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