jokes bad or otherwise.

I met this well endowed young woman in the pub. She dragged me round the back into the alley and said I could have fun with her body.Next thing she knocked me to the floor and stole my wallet. ...It was a booby trap! :-[
 
Paddy was off on his holidays, his mate asked if he could bring him 400 ciggys back. Paddy said ok. When Paddy got back and gave his pal the ciggys his mate said "what do I owe you?" Paddy said "£140.00 please". His mate said " blow me Paddy, these are dear! Where did you get them??" "Skegness !" said Paddy. ;)
 
If the TV show 'Cops' has taught us anything it's to stay away from people with blurry faces, they always seem to attract trouble.
 
Bad parenting letting my three year old son watch Mafia movies...

I've just discovered his sisters hamster drowned at the bottom of the bath weighted down with a Lego block.
 
A man died today after being attacked by a big cat in a circus.
It's understood he had under lion health problems.
 
"Did you see the football today?", I asked my mate.
"No I didn't." he said.
That's why I told him he was no longer our goalkeeper.
 
My mates partner faced one of those awkward life or death moments the other night.

SHE WANTED TO HOOVER WHILE THE FOOTY WAS ON!!!! >:( :eek:
 
My six-year-old grandson called his mother from his friend Charlie's house and confessed he had broken a lamp when he threw a football in their living room.

"But, Mom," he said, brightening, "you don't have to worry about buying another one. Charlie's mother said it was irreplaceable."
 
A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.

"You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand."

"No thanks," said the young man.

"My father wouldn't like it."

"Don't be silly," the minister said.

"Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water."

Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!"

"Well," replied the young farmer, "he's under the load of hay."
 
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