jokes bad or otherwise.

[dick]

What goes up but never comes down??.................Your age !

 

[dick]

OLD ONE
When is a door not a door ??..........................When it's ajar !

 

[barmpot]

OLD ONE
When is a door not a door ??..........................When it's ajar !

Dick, they have all been old ones - but none the less make me smile, anyway ....

 

[dick]

Dick, they have all been old ones - but none the less make me smile, anyway ....

Thank you kind sir!!

 

[dick]

An apt one today..............

What pastry can give you a shock? ....................A current bun.

 

[dick]

Why do gorillas have big nostrils??...............................They have big fingers !!

 

[dick]

What did one wall say to the other??......................I'll meet you at the corner !

 

[happyjack]

Since the snow came all my wife has done is look through the window.
If it gets any worse I will have to let her in.

 

[happyjack]

I`ve been charged with the murder for killing a man with sand paper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.

 

[happyjack]

After years of research scientists have discovered what makes women happy, NOTHING.

 

[happyjack]

Just a reminder to those who stole electrical goods in last years riots.
Your one year manufacturers warranty runs out soon.

 

[dick]

What dog keeps good time ??....................A watch dog .

 

[dick]

Tarzan buys all his clothes at the Jungle Sale !

 

[dick]

Policemen live on LETSBY AVENUE!

 

[happyjack]

Policemen live on LETSBY AVENUE!

As I live in Norfolk Dick. That is the famous quote from our beloved Deliah Smith.

 

[dick]

Why is it cheap to feed a giraffe??.........................A little goes a long way !

 

[dick]

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo ?? ................................A woolly jumper !

 

[barmpot]

Do not trust atoms. They make up everything.

 

[captain clutterbuck]

A guy meets his girlfriend in the pub and she seems really down in the dumps . "What's the trouble Petal ?" . " It's this Jigsaw puzzle I bought I have been trying to do it for ages but I am not getting anywhere. I emptied all the pieces on the kitchen table but I cannot find the corners or any straight edges ." What is the Puzzle about treacle " he asks . "Well its a picture of a large cockerel crowing at the Sun " .

The boyfriend tells her to drink up and he will go home with her to give her a hand to complete it . They get back and go into the Kitchen . " You see what I mean " she sighs . " Look sweetheart " he retorts " Just pick up the Cornflakes and put them back in the box"

 

[dick]

Why did the girl keep a slice of bread in her library books ???
She liked reading crummy novels!