Best one liners

[dick]

Glenda.......... "I like my Barry cuddly!" "I like him with love handles!"

Edie.................." Drink your coffee!"

 

[Magnatometer]

This one from The Heavily Reinforced Bottom.

Compo: "How did he drop dead?"
Clegg: "Well it was easy, he just went (while prending to collapse) arrrh"
Compo: "At least he got it right first time, he where always a clever beggar".

 

[dick]

Barry........ "She might be selling something"
Glenda......."She might be , but don't ever let me catch you buying"

 

[onyx(John)]

Compo; Do you reckon angels wear underpants?

 

[Magnatometer]

Auntie: I've never been the same since I was mugged.
Smiler: What happened?
Auntie: I broke his arm that's what happened.

 

[dick]

Cleggy.........Its not the world coming to an end is it?? I did that bit once and wasted a whole Tuesday!!

 

[dick]

Glenda ..........watch your blood pressure Barry , don't get too excited!
Barry........At the moment there's no danger of that!

Glenda.........Maybe it takes two stamps

 

[onyx(John)]

Sid; The wives 'round here make love as if it's shoplifting.

 

[Magnatometer]

Wally: I could do with a rear view mirror but she'll be polishing it all the time.

 

[Magnatometer]

Nora: Tidy but unattractive I always find, is a sound bases for an unblemished reputation.
Ivy: Got it cracked then haven't you.

 

[onyx(John)]

Howard; I was just checking this young lady for a slow puncture.

 

[Beth]

Cleggy: She's looking at you.
Compo: They always are Norm.

 

[onyx(John)]

Clegg speaking to Marina; I see your sugar puffs are reduced.

 

[dick]

Glenda............I wish I could wrap you in clingfilm and keep you safe!
Barry........That's a saucy suggestion!!! :me:

 

[me2]

Oh, don't just be an idiot, be an equal opportunities idiot. Let her snatch you up in her muscular arms.

 

[Magnatometer]

Clegg: It's not bank holiday is it? Don't tell me they started letting the idiots out on weekdays as well.

 

[Pearl]

Not one ours I know but its just made my laugh.

" What have learned today? The chamberpot is the sun but really its a football and if 6 million Chinamen jump up and dome in unison America will drown"

Any idea what I'm watching?

 

[onyx(John)]

Not one ours I know but its just made my laugh.

" What have learned today? The chamberpot is the sun but really its a football and if 6 million Chinamen jump up and dome in unison America will drown"

Any idea what I'm watching?

Porridge?

 

[onyx(John)]

Compo; She were lovely my Gladys, she could open bottles with her teeth ;D

 

[dick]

Cleggy .......... I had a bad experience ! :'(
Compo............But tha were married??

Cleggy ......That was it!!