jokes bad or otherwise.

An ironworker calmly walked the narrow beam 15 floors above the city street. Even with heavy winds blowing and a driving rain falling, he showed no fear and never hesitated.

When he came down to ground level a man who had been watching asked, "How did you ever get a job like that?"

"Well," replied the ironworker, "I used to drive a school bus, but my nerves gave out."
 
"Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?"

"Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector."

"That's a rather strange ambition to have for a career."

"Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"
 
Tesco's veggie burgers are being tested for traces of uniquorn.

I had some burgers from tesco for my tea last night....
I still have a bit between my teeth.


If you think the Horse Burgers in Tesco are bad, wait until you see their Unicorn on the Cob.
 
My daily newspaper, The Herald (Glasgow as I have said before) has this humorous "The Diary" every day with wee amusing stories most with a Scottish bent. This week they have been running this feature "Changing One Letter in a TV Show Title". So, we have had:

Name That Tube: Scottish show encouraging viewers to identify petty thieves - (a very Glasgow use of the word "Tube")

The Timpsons: A cartoon family who do shoe repairs and key cutting.

One Horn Every Minute: documentary about impatient taxi drivers outside the house.

Sash in the Attic: about folk who no longer march in July (very Glasgow reference to Orange marches, Rangers and the song, "The Sash my Father wore")

QT: secretive panel show hosted by Stephen Fry

Gorse: nature show about a shaggy bush.

and finally:

Lust of the Summer Wine: a seasonal aphrodisiac.
 
Re: jokes bad or otherwise.Six feet of separation

Scientists have predicted that by the year 2035 you will never be any more than six feet away from an ex Chelsea manager.
 
Just been to Tesco and bought a bottle of Bacardi ,bottle of Lambs and some burgers.
Thats white rum, dark rum and Red Rum. ;)
Had a Tesco burger last night,it gave me the trots but I'm stable now.

Tesco quarter pounders....The affordable way to get your daughter the pony she always wanted! ;)

non burger joke......I asked my mate " Whats your favourite mythical creature??"
He replied "Those happy women in the Tampax adverts :-\
 
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