jokes bad or otherwise.

Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning: "Windows frozen."

Husband texts back: "Pour some lukewarm water over it."

Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer's completely not working now."
 
In one small American town the Sheriff was also the Veterinarian.

One night an agitated citizen phoned him: "We need you right away!"

"Do you need me as the sheriff or the vet?"

"Both! We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it!"
 
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present...

They are due back at the library today.
 
I've been selected to join the Military Intelligence Unit and just need to complete this form to be accepted.
I see they're testing me already, all 3 of these pages have been printed upside down.
 
In the sheds risky, too. All that paint and creosote? Nasty business. Flaming rodents and a can of Sadolin? Nah, don't try this at home!
 
When I worked in McDonald's and a customer was rude to me I got him back by not putting any Coke in his drink.

Just ice was served.
 
Yesterday I got one of those Bird feeders that you stick to the Window, but the Birds are having a nightmare trying to get on it, loads are attempting it though, if they can't manage it today I think I might put it on the outside.
 
Evidence is proving that you are not an animal lover. SHAME !! You can say bad jokes if you want but these come under the heading of Cruelty.. Hope I didn't ruin your day. But you certainly did for animal lovers..
 
Compo said:
Evidence is proving that you are not an animal lover. SHAME !! You can say bad jokes if you want but these come under the heading of Cruelty.. Hope I didn't ruin your day. But you certainly did for animal lovers..
Click to expand...

Sorry, but to me this is bordering on taking political correctness to the extreme. Might as well say that Tom and Jerry or the Meerkats commercials are cruelty. Or Compo's treatment of his ferrets - I mean, fancy dropping marmalade on them. Where a hypothesis is absurd, cruelty does not enter the eqaution.
 
We are unanimous in that UNC. I did the Big Garden Birdwatch for the RSPB this weekend,I found the joke humerous though! The heading does say " jokes bad or otherwise " for petes sake ???
 
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