jokes bad or otherwise.

The woman at the Job Centre said, "You're always late, you ignore the queue of people and you are rude to everyone."
I said, "What's your point?"
She said, "Have you ever thought of becoming a bus driver?"
 
A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.
Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age."
"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her appendix out!"
 
So now Findus have withdrawn their products because of Horse meat contamination...

Shame..I really liked their Spaghetti Bologneighs.
 
My wife stormed into the pub last night as me and the boys were downing shots of Tequila.
"You're coming home now!" she screamed.
"No I'm not." I laughed.
She said, "I'm talking to the kids."
 
Never mind horses in lasagne,
I think I've found Heather Mills' missing leg in my Linda McCartney sausages.
 
One morning, a Hell's Angel goes into a coffee bar and orders a large cappuccino. As he is about to leave, he asks the waitress for his bill.

"Two pounds sixty," she says.

The Hell's Angel produces 260 penny coins, drops them on the floor and leaves.

This happens every morning for the next few days until one morning the Hell's Angel wants to pay with a fiver. Gotcha, thinks the waitress, who has been waiting for this day to get her revenge: she drops 240 pennies onto the floor.

"Your change," she says with a smug little smile.

The Hell's Angel produces a 20 pence coin and places it on the table.

"Another large cappuccino, please."
 
I hear that a large marquee with flashing lights has been erected in a Leicester car park.
A council spokesman said "now is the winter of our disco tent"
 
The shops have been selling flour, eggs and milk for as long as i can remember.
Since when did Pancake Day become so commercialised?
 
After discovering Richard the third under a carpark , the scientists are now looking for the bones of his horse under a Tesco carpark ;)
 
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