jokes bad or otherwise.
- Thread starter George
- Start date
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2002/oct/15/law.theguardian
This article from the Guardian(dated 2002) and many other sources on the net pour cold water on this story and write it off as an urban myth that has been doing the rounds since the 60's ???
A group of chaps, all aged 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waitresses there were gorgeous, and not shy of showing off their assets. Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food and service was good and the wine selection was excellent. Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they could dine in peace and quiet and the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean. Ten years later, at age 70, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had an elevator. Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View Restaurant because they had never been there before and heard it was quite good.
I wonder if our friends across the pond will understand this one. They do not have our type of festive paper cracker.
RAINER Hersch, the comedian, broadcaster and classical musician, who brings his popular Johann Strauss gala concert back to Dundee, Aberdeen, Glasgow and Edinburgh next month, likes to ask the questions no-one else asks.
"You know wherever you go in the world, in whatever city," goes one of his favourite lines, "there's always a group of musicians from Peru playing the bloody pan pipes. Has anybody out there been to Peru? In the pedestrian zones are there groups of musicians from Europe doing string quartets?"
Super superstitions
TOUCH wood, Glasgow journalist Deedee Cuddihy's latest book will be a resounding success.
Entitled Scottish Superstitions, it teems with superstitions volunteered by interviewees.
There are some oddities, like this one: "I remember as a wee girl watching an ambulance go by and the person I was with saying you had to hold onto your collar and keep holding it until you saw a dog."
Any other offbeat superstitions out there?
Festive gem
THE spirit of Christmas certainly hasn't been lost on one couple we know.
As the bloke posts on Facebook: "------ gave me her Christmas list. I said, 'Isn't my undying love and affection enough?' We laughed and laughed. I am now in H Samuel."
Scholarly proposition
INTELLECTUAL jokes, continued. This from Bill Lowry: a teacher is quizzing each of her children in turn with a suitable grammatical question.
She comes to wee Tommy, the classroom hooligan, and decides it wouldn't do to leave him out.
"Tommy," she says, "give me a sentence with two prepositions in it."
Tommy: "Who, me?"
Fuelling further reading
AND still the pilot anecdotes continue to land, one after the other.
Reader Bert Peattie and his wife once flew to the Canaries with the old Spanish airline Aviaco.
His wife, who hated take-offs and landings, was perturbed to hear the pilot announce the plane would be making an unscheduled refuelling stop at Bilbao.
On the return flight Bill asked the stewardess if the same thing would happen again. She wandered up to the cabin, and returned minutes later to tell Bill: "He doesn't know yet."
"I had a vision," says Bill, "of the pilot tapping the fuel gauge and asking his co-pilot, 'Do you think that's enough to get us to Edinburgh?'"
Commons cold
LAST word on George Osborne's showpiece Commons statement last week.
John Delaney tells us: "Over the weekend I was catching up with the Chancellor's Autumn Statement, delivered last Wednesday, on a day of thick frost and snow. I couldn't help wondering - why should we trust his predictions for the economy in the future, if he doesn't even know which season it is now?"
Artistic lair
AND finally … reader George Crawford sends us this, which we reprint without comment.
"On telling my wife of the article in Saturday's Herald Magazine about some young artists exhibiting in the old Greenock Sugar Sheds, Susan instantly responded with, 'Any of them Cubists?'
"See up with what I have to put?"
"You know wherever you go in the world, in whatever city," goes one of his favourite lines, "there's always a group of musicians from Peru playing the bloody pan pipes. Has anybody out there been to Peru? In the pedestrian zones are there groups of musicians from Europe doing string quartets?"
Super superstitions
TOUCH wood, Glasgow journalist Deedee Cuddihy's latest book will be a resounding success.
Entitled Scottish Superstitions, it teems with superstitions volunteered by interviewees.
There are some oddities, like this one: "I remember as a wee girl watching an ambulance go by and the person I was with saying you had to hold onto your collar and keep holding it until you saw a dog."
Any other offbeat superstitions out there?
Festive gem
THE spirit of Christmas certainly hasn't been lost on one couple we know.
As the bloke posts on Facebook: "------ gave me her Christmas list. I said, 'Isn't my undying love and affection enough?' We laughed and laughed. I am now in H Samuel."
Scholarly proposition
INTELLECTUAL jokes, continued. This from Bill Lowry: a teacher is quizzing each of her children in turn with a suitable grammatical question.
She comes to wee Tommy, the classroom hooligan, and decides it wouldn't do to leave him out.
"Tommy," she says, "give me a sentence with two prepositions in it."
Tommy: "Who, me?"
Fuelling further reading
AND still the pilot anecdotes continue to land, one after the other.
Reader Bert Peattie and his wife once flew to the Canaries with the old Spanish airline Aviaco.
His wife, who hated take-offs and landings, was perturbed to hear the pilot announce the plane would be making an unscheduled refuelling stop at Bilbao.
On the return flight Bill asked the stewardess if the same thing would happen again. She wandered up to the cabin, and returned minutes later to tell Bill: "He doesn't know yet."
"I had a vision," says Bill, "of the pilot tapping the fuel gauge and asking his co-pilot, 'Do you think that's enough to get us to Edinburgh?'"
Commons cold
LAST word on George Osborne's showpiece Commons statement last week.
John Delaney tells us: "Over the weekend I was catching up with the Chancellor's Autumn Statement, delivered last Wednesday, on a day of thick frost and snow. I couldn't help wondering - why should we trust his predictions for the economy in the future, if he doesn't even know which season it is now?"
Artistic lair
AND finally … reader George Crawford sends us this, which we reprint without comment.
"On telling my wife of the article in Saturday's Herald Magazine about some young artists exhibiting in the old Greenock Sugar Sheds, Susan instantly responded with, 'Any of them Cubists?'
"See up with what I have to put?"
Beth
Dedicated Member
It would actually be a great present for any child under 3. My daughters always played with the paper and boxes their presents came in.
