jokes bad or otherwise.
- Thread starter George
- Start date
C
Compo
Guest
They must have thought you were a hyjacker...........
An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
'Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy.... Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times............'
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
'Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy.... Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times............'
George
Super Moderator
I went to the doctor's yesterday.
"Doctor, I've got this awful pain", I said, "I've had it for a while but I can't put up with it anymore, you need to give me something to get rid of it."
"Okay", says the doctor,"I'm sure we can sort something out, where exactly is this pain?"
"In the waiting room", I replied, "should I go and get her?"
"Doctor, I've got this awful pain", I said, "I've had it for a while but I can't put up with it anymore, you need to give me something to get rid of it."
"Okay", says the doctor,"I'm sure we can sort something out, where exactly is this pain?"
"In the waiting room", I replied, "should I go and get her?"
Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police station,
along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband
was missing.
The policeman asked for a description of the missing man.
The wife said, "He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes,
dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds,
is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."
The next-door neighbor protested,
"Your husband is 5-foot 8-inches, chubby, has a big mouth,
and is mean to your children."
The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"
along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband
was missing.
The policeman asked for a description of the missing man.
The wife said, "He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes,
dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds,
is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."
The next-door neighbor protested,
"Your husband is 5-foot 8-inches, chubby, has a big mouth,
and is mean to your children."
The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"
brendalovescompo
Dedicated Member
Take your foot off his head!!!!!! Lol
There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.
After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, “Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?”
The third fellow says, “I’ll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.”
The first two guys were amazed. “What happened then?” they asked. “She said, ‘get out from under the bed and fight like a man’.”
After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, “Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?”
The third fellow says, “I’ll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.”
The first two guys were amazed. “What happened then?” they asked. “She said, ‘get out from under the bed and fight like a man’.”
A man rubbed a lamp and a genie came out. The man asked to be stronger than any other man. He was given the strength to crush bolders.
He asked for the worlds fastest sports car and a ferrari appeared in front of him. He then asked to be smarter than any other every man on the earth. He was turned into a woman.
He asked for the worlds fastest sports car and a ferrari appeared in front of him. He then asked to be smarter than any other every man on the earth. He was turned into a woman.
brendalovescompo
Dedicated Member
A man solves the problem of too many relatives visiting. He borrowed money from the rich ones and loaned it to the poor ones. Now none of them come back.
