jokes bad or otherwise.

Teacher...........Write down the formula for water .:31:

A boy steps up and writes on the board H I J K L M N O :smile:

Teacher says ............what is that ? The boy says ...........The formula for water! H to O :42:
 
When I was young everything was handed to me on a plate...........Soup was a nightmare!:confused: :thumbsdown:
 
The teacher noticed one of his pupils was not paying attention. So he rapped on the desk with a ruler and said "Board Jones Board!!" Jones looked up at him and said "Yes sir I'm afraid I am.!":sleep::08:
 
Doctor checks over a very ill man. "I have some bad news for you" says the doctor you have a fatal illness called yellow 24. It turns your blood Yellow and you only hav 24 hours to live.
There is no known cure, just go home and enjoy yourself.
He breaks the bad news to his wife. She is very distraught and suggests they go to Bingo together as he has never been with her before.
With his first card he wins £50 for 4 corners. Then with the same card he gets a line worth £350. Then he gets a full house and £1000. After that with amazement wins the National game £400,000.
The organiser gets him on stage and says he has never met anyone so lucky as him.
"Lucky, Lucky, I`ll have you know I have got Yellow 24"
Blow me says the organiser you have won the raffle as well.
 
A business man checking out of his hotel asked the receptionist which is the quickest way to Manchester.? "Are you walking or driving ?"she asked.
"Driving" he said
She replied " Driving is definitely the quickest way! ":rolleyes: :08:
 
Dear Customer Services, first of all you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger....................:sneaky: :cautious:
 
Gordon said to his wife "What do you like most about me?? "My rugged handsome face or my gorgeous sexy body??"

She looked him up and down for a moment and said "....It's your sense of humour!":08:
 
Letter from mom to the teacher....................

Tommy came home from school yesterday in tears because you said he was illiterate.! :cry:

That's just not true, we'd been married for a year before he was born!:39:
 
Old one...........

A lorry load of tortoises crashed into a lorry carrying terrapins .:39:

Police said it was a turtle disaster!:08:
 
My Gran couldn't sleep because two dogs were "at it" on her lawn . She picked up the phone and rang her vet . " Hello its Mrs Craig here, can you please come out there's two dogs "at it" on my lawn " . The bleary eyed vet says "Mrs Craig its 3 in the morning and I am certainly not coming out for that , just chuck a bucket of cold water over them and they'll separate ".

"Oh I've tried that and nothing happened !" . " Well Mrs Craig I want you to go out and tell the dog that is on top that he's wanted on the phone" . " Will that stop them ???" . " Well it certainly worked for me!"
 
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