jokes bad or otherwise.

[dick]

The Queen must qualify as a Royal vandal, all those Champagne bottles she's broken on the side of ships! :roflmao:

 

[dick]

Did you hear about the Dyslexic , Agnostic ,Insomniac ?? He lies awake at night wondering if there's a dog ! o:

 

[dick]

If you are not supposed to eat too much at night time ,why is there a light in the refrigerator?? o:

 

[dick]

What did one pencil say to the other pencil??

My you're looking sharp!

 

[gill]

What dkd the old phone say to the young phone? Your too young to get engaged

 

[captain clutterbuck]

What is the difference between first and second honeymoons?

The first is in Niagara and the second you need Viagra

 

[captain clutterbuck]

What goes MOOF MOOF

A Cow with Buck Teeth

 

[dick]

As a musician I hate the E minor key.! It gives me the E-B-G-B s

 

[dick]

Did you here about the lady who had two left feet?? She went to the shoe store and asked for a pair of flip-flips!

 

[happyjack]

One year I decided to buy my mother-in-law a Cemetery plot as a Christmas present.
The next year I did not buy her a gift. When she asked why I said "you still haven`t used the present I bought you last year. Thats when the fight started.

 

[happyjack]

I rear ended a car this morning...The start of a really bad day.
The driver got out the car and he was a DWARF.!!
He looked up at me and said he was "NOT HAPPY"
So I said ok which one are you then.

 

[dick]

Definition of a suspended sentence.....................When they hang you for wrong doing.

 

[happyjack]

I was flipping through the channels last night, my wife asked what was on the television? I said dust. Thats when another fight started

 

[happyjack]

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there. Finally the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, its no use knocking there`s no paper on this side either.

 

[dick]

You've only copied this English work out 36 times instead of 40 .Why??

Sorry sir I'm not too good at math either!

 

[captain clutterbuck]

I went to the Doctors today and asked if he could give me something for wind, he prescribed me a Kite.

 

[dick]

Why do's no-one notice when the Pterodactyls go to the bathroom? ..........Because their "P" is always silent!

 

[dick]

What do you call a bear with no ear?? ................. ""B "" o:

 

[dick]

I stood in the park wondering why the Frisbee was getting bigger?

Then it hit me!

 

[dick]

Why is a football pitch always wet?? Its the players, always dribbling!