jokes bad or otherwise.

A sales assistant asked the manager how to handle customers who complained about the current prices compared to the "good old days".
The manager told him to "act surprised and tell them you didn't think they looked old enough to remember those days."
 
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A man came home drunk at 3 AM as he got in the house the Cuckoo Clock cuckoo'd three times , to hide the time he got in he cuckoo'd himself another 9 times so his wife would think it was only midnight .

The next day when he got up his wife asked him what time he got in . " Midnight my dear" he replied . " Well " she said " I think we need a new clock " she continued . " At midnight it cuckoo'd three times said Sh%& ! , cuckoo'd four times , broke wind, cuckoo'd three times , cleared its throat , cuckoo'd twice more and started laughing its head off! "
 
Teacher.............What's the most common phrase used in school??

Pupil..................I don't know!

Teacher...............That's the one!!:smile::thumbsup:
 
Late at night a man decides to take a shortcut home through the cemetery all is quiet and quite eerie initially . About half way through he hears someone shout "Mark, Mark" . It clearly spooks him but he decides to ignore and press on, he speeds up to a brisk walk . A few minutes go by when again he hears "Mark Mark " again . Well this really unnerves him and he starts to run to the gate out . He eventually reaches the gate but is so out of breath he has to stop . Again he hears the call "Mark Mark" only ever closer he turns around and to his horror he spots in the shadow ............................................................... a Doberman Dog with a hair lip!!
 
Police have arrested a priest for allegedly murdering his whole congregation.:39:

They said it was a case of mass murder!!:40::cautious:
 
captain clutterbuck said:
A man came home drunk at 3 AM as he got in the house the Cuckoo Clock cuckoo'd three times , to hide the time he got in he cuckoo'd himself another 9 times so his wife would think it was only midnight .

The next day when he got up his wife asked him what time he got in . " Midnight my dear" he replied . " Well " she said " I think we need a new clock " she continued . " At midnight it cuckoo'd three times said Sh%& ! , cuckoo'd four times , broke wind, cuckoo'd three times , cleared its throat , cuckoo'd twice more and started laughing its head off! "
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a veritable NPMSL
 
A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work.

The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom
and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store."

"But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the
broom, I'll show you how."
 
one for those who go to church ...
A pastor's son, a musician's son, and an artist's son were talking.

The artist's son said, "My dad can scribble something on a piece of paper, call it a picture, and sell it for $100."

The musician's son said, "Oh, that's nothing! My dad can scribble something on a piece of paper, call it a song, and sell it for $1000."

The pastor's son looks at them and said, "You guys don’t know anything!!! My dad can scribble something on a piece of paper, call it a sermon, and it takes like 6 guys to gather all the money!"
 
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