jokes bad or otherwise.

A man spent half an hour the other day telling me of the time he was trapped in the lift on the 14th floor. He wanted to tell me about being trapped on the 15th floor but that's another storey !:12:
 
A couple are walking along the road when they see a horse and cart . Pinned to the cart is a For Sale notice which read " For Sale Energy Efficient Vehicle , Runs on Grass and Oats, Caution ! Exhaust to be avoided at all times "
 
A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered, with his thumb squarely on top of the meat.

"Are you crazy?" yells the customer. "Don't bring my meal with your hand on my steak!"

"What," says the waiter, "you want it to fall on the floor again?"


groan groan
 
Is it possible to have deja vu and amnesia at the same time? (I feel like I've forgotten this before…)
:devilish::devilish::devilish:
 
A man has two snakes which he is trying to mate but is unsuccessful . He phones his local Zoo for help and one of the reptile house assistants comes over . "What you need to to do is take a log from your fire split it in two and make two tables with them put the snakes and the tables in the one cage." Without any other ideas he does so and a few weeks later he has a plethora of baby snakes and phones the Zoo to tell them the news. He gets through to the assistant ,who came to the house, and thanks him for his help . " Well when I came out I spotted that the snakes were adders and to get them to multiply they needed log tables " :08:
 
A Gorilla escapes from the Zoo and ends up on the Roof of a house nearby . The owner is clearly panicked and phones the Zoo to come and retrieve it . Ten minutes later a van and trailer pulls up and a Zoo keeper gets out with a ladder, baseball bat, shotgun and pit bull terrier. The house owner is puzzled and asks the zoo keeper how he is going to get the Gorilla down . " Well I'm going to use the ladder to get up on the roof , I'll use the baseball bat to knock the Gorilla off the roof the dog is trained to grab the Gorilla's private parts which then allows us to subdue it and load it into the trailer " . The Zoo keeper puts the ladder against the wall and hand the house owner the shotgun . " Why have you given me this" asks the man , " Well if the Gorilla happens to knock me off the roof the for god's sake please make sure you shoot the dog!"
 
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