jokes bad or otherwise.

The hunt is on for a person who has stabbed 6 people with a knitting needle in the last 24 hours .....
Police believe the attacker is following some kind of pattern.
 
I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 pall bearers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they've lost the plot !
 
11:45 the other night I saw two sad buggers train spotting of a rail bridge in town.
2 hours later I was walking home after watching the midnight showing of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 and the sad buggers were still there
 
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Feminists don't change lightbulbs; they moan about how patriarchal societies will never see the light anyway.
 
My mate told me his marriage councilor says he needs to make his wife feel wanted.
So he reported her for two armed robberies.
 
A wife turns to her husband and says, "what would you like darling? a burial or a funeral?"
The husband replies "I don't really mind,as long as you're dead".
 
George said:
A wife turns to her husband and says, "what would you like darling? a burial or a funeral?"
The husband replies "I don't really mind,as long as you're dead".
Click to expand...
reminds me of this one: " What do you want when you're dead? Buryin or cremating?? " " I dont know love, surprise me !"
 
A man and woman are sitting at a bar
The man says: I love you
The women says:Is that you or the beer talking?
The man says:It`s me ... talking to the beer.
 
My mate went to a singles club the other day, He didn't do all that well, he only got 3 numbers. . . she wouldn't give him the rest of them!
 
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