George Super Moderator Jul 31, 2011 #1,041 My mate's got a split personality, but its split from the waist down He keeps walking up to people he doesn't really want to talk to.
My mate's got a split personality, but its split from the waist down He keeps walking up to people he doesn't really want to talk to.
George Super Moderator Jul 31, 2011 #1,042 My mate who is a soldier was complaining about his commanding officers. It was more of a General moan, nothing Major.
My mate who is a soldier was complaining about his commanding officers. It was more of a General moan, nothing Major.
George Super Moderator Jul 31, 2011 #1,043 Just had a great result at the races! My dog only went and won at 50-1. I think I'll let her pick the next horse too
Just had a great result at the races! My dog only went and won at 50-1. I think I'll let her pick the next horse too
George Super Moderator Aug 1, 2011 #1,044 I painted my nails today. Tomorrow I'm going to paint my screws and hooks.
George Super Moderator Aug 1, 2011 #1,045 My friend wants to re-name his street "Mysterious Ways" He's hoping God will move in.
George Super Moderator Aug 1, 2011 #1,046 Light travels faster than sound, that's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak..
George Super Moderator Aug 2, 2011 #1,047 A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. " Mum" he asked, "are these my brains?" "Not yet" she replied.
A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. " Mum" he asked, "are these my brains?" "Not yet" she replied.
George Super Moderator Aug 2, 2011 #1,048 I've just been shopping for a blindfold, I tried on a blue one, a green one, a yellow one, a pink one, and a tartan one . I couldn't see myself wearing any of them.
I've just been shopping for a blindfold, I tried on a blue one, a green one, a yellow one, a pink one, and a tartan one . I couldn't see myself wearing any of them.
George Super Moderator Aug 2, 2011 #1,050 I hate camouflage clothing. You wouldn't see me wearing it.
George Super Moderator Aug 3, 2011 #1,051 The automatic Air Freshener in my house has suddenly stopped working. It makes no scents.
George Super Moderator Aug 3, 2011 #1,052 My wife says I'm a salesman's dream, because I will buy anything. We'll see who's laughing when radio goes 3D
My wife says I'm a salesman's dream, because I will buy anything. We'll see who's laughing when radio goes 3D
George Super Moderator Aug 4, 2011 #1,053 My doctor asked if my medication is working for my schizophrenia. "I'm still in two minds", I told him.
My doctor asked if my medication is working for my schizophrenia. "I'm still in two minds", I told him.
barmpot LOTSW Fanatic Aug 4, 2011 #1,054 George your jokes - where do you get them - defiitely make you a "hero" member!
George Super Moderator Aug 4, 2011 #1,055 barmpot said: George your jokes - where do you get them - defiitely make you a "hero" member! Click to expand... Thanks barmpot.I like to think I 'borrow' them.
barmpot said: George your jokes - where do you get them - defiitely make you a "hero" member! Click to expand... Thanks barmpot.I like to think I 'borrow' them.
George Super Moderator Aug 4, 2011 #1,056 I'm struggling to find work. I knew I should never have opened that camouflage shop.
George Super Moderator Aug 5, 2011 #1,057 Watched a horror about a killer teabag,,,, Wasn't very scary,it was only a P.G.
George Super Moderator Aug 5, 2011 #1,058 My wife said she's divorcing me because I never do anything right. So I packed her bags and left...
George Super Moderator Aug 5, 2011 #1,059 I used to live the life of Riley. That was until he reported his credit cards missing.
George Super Moderator Aug 6, 2011 #1,060 Did you know that the average married couple argue around 412 times a year? Well, 415 actually but try telling her that!
Did you know that the average married couple argue around 412 times a year? Well, 415 actually but try telling her that!
