jokes bad or otherwise.

[George]

How do you make a Pirate angry?
Take the P out of him.

 

[George]

Give a man some poison and you will kill him, give a man a wife and he will kill himself.

 

[George]

All of my salad and sandwich dressing expires in 2012.
Serves me right for buying Mayannaise.

 

[George]

First day of my levitation course today, and I went straight to the top of the class!

 

[George]

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

 

[George]

Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'

 

[barmpot]

Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'

Groan groan groan - well done on readching a hundred pages!

 

[barmpot]

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

 

[George]

My wife just said, "New year, same old lazy you. I hope you've got something good planned for Valentines day."
I said, "I have yes...I think I might take the Xmas decorations down."

 

[George]

A man in the supermarket reminded me of Michael Jackson today.
He said, "Don't forget about Michael Jackson".

 

[James26]

Anthony Worrell Thompson has been asked to re name his new book - Every Little Helps.

Apparently he robbed it off Tesco

 

[James26]

The Anthony Worrall Thompson diet, cheese and wine …..followed by porridge.

 

[James26]

Anthony Worrall Thompson is to be charged for............fromage affray'

 

[George]

I just got off the phone to Sea World. They said my call may be recorded for training Porpoises!

 

[George]

Everest may not be as tall as experts claim,
According to mountain speculation

 

[George]

My mate once wrestled the Undertaker.
He was objecting to him closing the coffin lid, insisting that my mates wife was still alive.

 

[George]

I've just bought a new fridge that chills to absolute zero.

How cool is that?

 

[George]

hheello, iss tthhatt thhee sshhoop iii boouugghht thhee vviibbrrattorr ffrroomm. Cccaann yyoouu tteell mmee hhooww ttoo ttuurrnn iiiitt ooffff pppllleeeaaassseee?

 

[George]

If you can only be good at one thing be good at lying.
That way you can be good at everything.

 

[George]

The lady I'm married to has accused me of being impersonal.