jokes bad or otherwise.

"Where's the morning paper?"
"I wrapped some rubbish in it and chucked it in the bin."
"Hey, I wanted to have a look at it!"
"There wasn't much to see. Just potato peelings and and some burnt toast."
 
I hope the saying 'opposites attract' is not true, because it would be awful to be attracted to somebody annoying, ugly and pretty much flawed in every way
 
How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but you should have seen the size of that lightbulb!
 
My mate has a drink problem
He is continuously drinking brake fluid.
He said on the plus side, he can stop whenever he wants.
 
An irritated father complained to his friend, "When I was a kid, my parents sent me to my room without supper if I misbehaved. But my son has his own TV, telephone, computer, and every computer game and CD player in his room!"

"So how do you handle it?" his friend asked.

"I send him to MY room!"
 
Everyone always says "you are what you eat!"
That's funny,I don't remember eating a sexy beast this morning.
 
SEEN IN THE DAILY MAIL TODAY (seems just right for us!)

" Doctor , are corny jokes contagious??"

" Dont know, but they could have a knock-knock on effect! "
 
A technician is to be sent to the Arctic Circle to work.
"This is your emergency equipment," says his boss. "It consists of a box with various distress flares, a radio and a deck of playing cards."
"What are the cards for?" asks the technician.
"If the distress flares don't work," says the boss, "and the radio is completely frozen, take the deck of cards and start a game of Solitaire. It won't take long before some bugger taps you on the shoulder and tells you to put the nine of spades on the ten of diamonds ..."
 
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