jokes bad or otherwise.

A man is walking down the street and notices his ex walking towards him, s**t he says and pretends to be on the phone.

the ex stops him and says "your just pretending to be on the phone aren't you?"

he speaks into his phone "hold on mate" and replies to his ex "what makes you think that?"

"because you've got your little finger next to your mouth and your thumb in your ear!!!"
 
I caught my best friend in bed with my best friends wife.
That's when I knew I'd walked into the wrong house.
 
We were watching tv and I was shouting ""NO! Get out of there! Save yourself! Run! RUUUN!!"
"Do you have to do this every time I put our wedding video on?", my wife moaned.
 
I have just filled in an online application form for a wrestling club, but failed when I clicked Submit'.
 
Doctor - "Your husband is very sick and needs to be taken to hospital"
Wife - "Oh no, what is it?"
Doctor - "It's a large building with patients in it but that's not important right now"
 
A man walks into a chemists and asks for viagra, "The chemist says “I need medical proof that you need it." The man says " will a photo of my wife do"?
 
Quasimodo walks into a tailors and says to the salesman "Have you got a suit to fit me"?
The salesman replies "Well if we have someone is gonna get fired"!!!
 
Just saw a Yorkshire man coming out of the swimming baths covered in feathers.
He must've got dried ont owl.
 
I've been seeing a psychiatrist about my obsession with fish and chip shops.
I'm feeling so much batter now.
 
How True

J1.jpg
 
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