A policeman comes across a drunk crawling around on the railway track and says, "What do you think you're doing mate?"
The drunk replies, " Could you help me get off this ladder?"
I knew I would take it up one day, now found the perfect method.Take one Weetabix. Take an Aero chocolate bar. Crumble the Aero over the Weetabix. VOILA....AEROBIX!!
A man went to see a psychiatrist and said, "It's my wife doctor. She thinks she's a lift."
"Well why don't ask her to call in and see me?" said the psychiatrist.
"She can't," said the man, "She doesn't stop at this floor."
As a 16th birthday present for his son, a dad took him to a brothel.
As they left the dad said, "Did you enjoy that son?"
He said, "Yeah, but can I have a go next time?"
I was walking around Tesco for over an hour with an empty basket before an assistant asked, "Are you looking for something in particular?"
"Yeah, a black and white cat with a red collar, have you seen it?"
