As a child I had a medical condition that meant I had to eat soil three times a day.
Lucky my older brother told me about it, really.
Lucky my older brother told me about it, really.
jokes bad or otherwise.
- Thread starter George
- Start date
mashibinbin
Dedicated Member
Put it on the table, chuck it over someones face or simply tip it on the floor, it's still water.
mashibinbin
Dedicated Member
Even I won't go into the bad taste of soiling yourself punnery.
captain clutterbuck
LOTSW Fanatic
A lady takes her pet duck Cuddles to the vet , its unconscious in her arms . The Vet takes a look and apologetically tells the lady so so sorry but I'm afraid Cuddles has passed away. The Lady distraught says "Perhaps he is just in a Coma or deep sleep" . The Vet gets up and leaves the room and returns with a black labrador which gets up on its hind legs and nudges and sniffs the duck , drops down with sad eyes and shakes its head mournfully.
The Vet takes the dog away and returns with a tabby cat which promptly jumps up on the table padding around the duck and sniffing it . It jumps off the table soulfully miaows and shakes its head.
The lady tearfully accepts that Cuddles has passed so the Vet carefully places cuddles in a box for the lady to bury Cuddles with dignity and hands her his bill . "What!!" the lady exclaims "£1500 to tell me my duck has dies outrageous!!" "Well" the Vet says " If you'd trusted my judgement the bill would have been £50 but with the Lab report and Cat Scan I have to charge you £1500"
The Vet takes the dog away and returns with a tabby cat which promptly jumps up on the table padding around the duck and sniffing it . It jumps off the table soulfully miaows and shakes its head.
The lady tearfully accepts that Cuddles has passed so the Vet carefully places cuddles in a box for the lady to bury Cuddles with dignity and hands her his bill . "What!!" the lady exclaims "£1500 to tell me my duck has dies outrageous!!" "Well" the Vet says " If you'd trusted my judgement the bill would have been £50 but with the Lab report and Cat Scan I have to charge you £1500"
About a month before my grandfather died, we covered his back in lard - after that he went downhill very quickly.........
mashibinbin
Dedicated Member
He then popped into Auntie Wainwrights - he was a slippery customer alright!