Best one liners

[onyx(John)]

Compo; If only I could be sure there was a God who listened to small blokes with holes in their trousers.

 

[Marianna]

From "Of Funerals and Fish"

Adultery? It's nerve-racking. Poor devils. Guilt and cramp in confined spaces.

 

[Beth]

Life is not for "vino"; life's for sweeping!

 

[Beth]

Pearl: Mine wears man made fibers; all he attracts is an artificial blonde.

 

[onyx(John)]

I remember most of the teachers were stern, with moustaches. Except for a few of the men.

 

[Beth]

You know your trouble Davenport; you don't know how to fall properly.

 

[Beth]

Foggy to Smiler: I want you to think enemy. Some nasty vicious nine year old.

Smiler: Can we start with 8's.

 

[Beth]

Foggy: He was a good teacher.
Cleggy: He was always fair.
Compo: He gave me half of his cheese sandwich.

 

[Beth]

Edie to Glenda: I knew it would only bring trouble when you joined that library!

 

[Pearl]

The wife used to like a giggle but now she daren't laugh in case its fattening.

 

[Beth]

What do you think that would mean, a Toyota hooting three times?! Hoo hoo. Hoo hoo. Hoo hoo.

 

[Beth]

I can't say how often I have talked like Cleggy. Off in my own world not making any sense. ;D

 

[Pearl]

Somebody went to the bother of tricking Nora Batty into a cupboard?!

 

[Beth]

He looks like a radish.

 

[onyx(John)]

It suddenly occurred to me, I have no idea how to get to Chesterfield .

 

[Beth]

Compo: I am like a Viking?

 

[onyx(John)]

From Dried Dates and Codfanglers; Just a frock, her vest and her usual mixed bag of corsets.

 

[Beth]

Customer to Cleggy: Do you work here?
Cleggy: Ah no I am just a passing idiot.

 

[onyx(John)]

Gladwin Allsopp's Missus has a beard ;D

 

[dick]

She were a great girl, she were a 14 pinter ;D ;D