Best one liners

[dick]

Policeman....."Mrs Pegden Your car is parked down there ,Fairly neatly ,but mostly on the pavement "
Edie... "I'm not always a driver you know, I'm also a pedestrian ! As a pedestrian I'm entitled to use the pavement!!" :me:

 

[Beth]

Its not my fault Eli kissed a policeman!

 

[Beth]

Does your offer include a sticky bun?

 

[Beth]

Edie: Go talk to your father's boots.

 

[dick]

Compo....."I don't want my photo taken in here!!(his home) Look at it , disgraceful!!"

 

[Beth]

Edie: Don't worry your father when he's confused.

 

[onyx(John)]

Compo; My ferrets are house trained.
Foggy; They must be in the wrong damn house then.

 

[onyx(John)]

Foggy; I understand the co-op has some reductions in winceyette pyjamas.

 

[dick]

I wonder if there's a queue at the post office??

 

[brendalovescompo]

Compo: "Me Damn goggles are fogging up"

 

[Beth]

Cleggy: This is not the kind of bicycle that you go visiting strange women on Howard.
Howard: I don't know what you mean. I just fancied a ride in the fresh air.
Cleggy: This is a well brought up bicycle.

 

[brendalovescompo]

"I was just asking this young lady if she knew the way back into town"

 

[Beth]

Edie: We never had anybody in the family play golf! I hope it won't interfere with his more sober practices?!

 

[onyx(John)]

Howard; Have you checked your neck lately? ;D

 

[Beth]

He wouldn't make a good pimple for a bad complexion. ;D

 

[dick]

Like a virus resting between epidemics

 

[Beth]

Truly talking about Compo.

Truly: Would you marry him?
Cleggy: Only if you were a bridesmaid. ;D

 

[Beth]

I don't know the face, but the mustache is familiar.

 

[Beth]

Howard: I'll come around and make it good Cleggy. I'll promise you; you won't see a thing.
Cleggy: Sounds a lot like my honeymoon.

 

[Beth]

The reason we won't drive with you in this Ludovic, is because your, how should I put this, smashed out of your tiny mind! ;D