jokes bad or otherwise.

I tried grilling a chicken at lunchtime.
"Right, I'll ask you one more time. Why did you cross the road?"
 
I walked into the hairdressers and said, "How much for a crew cut?"
The bloke said, "Seven quid."
I said, "Sweet, come in lads!"
 
The new Superman is British. He's incredibly strong and faster than a locomotive. But he's still claiming sickness benefit.
 
A bloke went up to a girl in the gym and said, "Do you come here often?"
She said, "Ha ha very smooth but no, not really"
He said, "Well you should, fatty"
 
My mate text his wife today saying "I love u".
She replied "Oh, really? :)"
He said "Yes, it's my favourite vowel".
 
I was clinging for dear life to the face of the cliff.
As the rescue team approached one of the guys shouted "Whatever you do, don't look down".
So I started smiling.
 
The waiter brought me a sprig of broccoli. I said, "sorry, I thought it was 'All You Can Eat' for £3 here."
The waiter replied, "that IS all you can eat for £3 here."
 
Two chimpanzee's in a bath tub, one says: "Ooooh oooooh aaaaaaaah"
The other one says: "... well put some cold in."
 
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